Correction 001
An earlier report stated that a citizen had wasted her entire twenties.
Records confirm that she was present for all ten years.
The description has been withdrawn.
Correction 002
The Ministry of Comparative Affairs has requested that we correct our statement that nobody knows what they are doing.
The Ministry insists that several people know what they are doing.
It has promised to introduce us to one.
Correction 003
Our report that a citizen had made a fool of himself at dinner was based entirely on his own testimony.
The other guests have no recollection of the incident.
The citizen disputes their recollection.